


Fallen

by angstyshark



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cute, Dark Sherlock, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, M/M, Mental Instability, Minor Violence, Murder-Suicide, Psychological Drama, Psychological Torture, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-08-31 20:12:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8591914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyshark/pseuds/angstyshark
Summary: Sherlock's room had Miss me everywhere, John is kidnapped, and more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing a fan fic in a while, I hope you like it! Please tell me if I should continue ^u^

“MISS ME. MISS ME. MISS ME”. The letters were written across his apartment. He dropped the tea John had made him and felt a cold sweat. “It can't be…” he muttered. Mrs. Hudson walked in and gasped. “Dear! What happened?”.  
“He's back. No. It can’t be.” He looked around the room. John grabbed napkins and laid them on the wet floor. “It could be a joke? I mean, everyone knows your ‘enemy’, and where you live.” John cleaned up the mess and sat down. “No. Somethings different.”  
“Maybe you're overthinking it? Sherlock, it could be a joke.”  
“Or he could have faked it.” Sherlock slid his finger across the letters. “Faked it? You said he shot himself?” Sherlock turned around and looked at John. “I fell from a building. I faked it too.” John gets up and rubs Sherlock's shoulder. “You're afraid of him. But trust me on this, he is dead.” Sherlock jerked away and walked towards Mrs. Hudson. “Where were you when this happened? Did you hear something, was there visitors?”  
She looked around and blinked, “I was making a cup of tea. I didn't hear anything.” Sherlock went to the kitchen but John stopped him. “Sherlock, let this past. Please, you’re overthinking. It was probably a stupid bloody teenager.” Sherlock sighs and sits in the couch. He looks at John and huffs. “You don't care do you?”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Your hand, your eyes, your steps, even that scent...ugh.”  
“My scent?! ….It's a new perfume.”  
Sherlock rolls his eyes. “You were rushing me to see her. Well go right along, I don't need you.” Sherlock turned his back to John.  
“Wait are you talking about?”  
“No need to be stupid John, leave. I don't need anyone.” John grabs his jacket and waits. Sherlock doesn't say anything and he leaves.  
Mrs. Hudson looks confused at Sherlock. “Did I miss something Sherlock?”  
“He’s with Mary. They have been dating. Surprised he doesn't bring her anymore here.”  
“Well, you do scare her my dear, you glare at her all the time. I always thought you were dating John in the first place.” Sherlock gets up and stares at the wall. Mrs. Hudson rubs his back, “Sherlock are you jealous?”  
Sherlock glares at her and sighs.“Sherlock, you're lonely without him. You're his friend.” She hands the tea to Sherlock and leaves. Sherlock looks at it. “Friend. I don't have any….only...no”.  
Meanwhile at cafe, John sits nervously and plays with his hands. “Good boy”. A cold hand pats his back and the man sits down. “He thinks I am with Mary. I see you didn't bring the bombs.” John smirked and tried to keep cool. “I didn't bring any toys, just one. And you know who.” John kept cold and looked at the man. “Why me.” The man laughed and John tilted his head in confusion. “He loves you doesn't he. I bet he turned into a jealous high school girl when he thought you were heading to Mary. Poor Sherlock.” John laughed, “He doesn't love me, only his self. He doesn't care about anyone else. And i'm not gay!”  
“Do you want to test that then?” John didn't make a move. “You're a talkative pet, knowing Mary is in my hands. I could be having all sorts of fun with her.” The man smirked and Johns color faded. “Don't joke about this, you promised you wouldn't hurt her if I did the things you said, and don't you dare lay a finger-” The man takes out his phone and shows of Mary being tortured.  
“You son of a bitch…”  
“Now now, we are in a public place! Children could be listening! No fowl language Dr. Watson.” John bit his lips in anger and looked away. He clutched his fists and was red in anger.  
“NOw will you listen to me well. As much as i want it to be, this is not a game between you and I.”  
John looked at the man and whispered, “Sherlock.”  
“Yes! Its genius! Breaking you first, then I will break him~”  
John looked around, his anger made him shake, but knew he had to control it. “....”  
The man smiled and grabbed his cheeks, “Johnny boy i would like you to do me a favor. And if you do not…” He shows John his beat up wife again.”You know what i mean. John was furious.  
“Stop this...Lives are meant to be played with, be a man and deal with it yourself!” The people in the cafe look at them. The man smirked. “You shouldn't break Sherlock, Moriarty. He isn't a man to be played with, not like this.” He smirks and looks up. “Your boyfriends here.”  
Moriarty gets up and leaves. Sherlock runs to John, looking at the man’s back confused. “Sher….Sherlock”. John clears his throat. “How did you know where i was? Wait never mind.” John was very relieved.  
“Who was that man?” Sherlock stared at the man until he left. “An old friend. Nothing more.”  
“Didn't know you had friends”.  
“You're one to talk. Besides, why are you here. I thought you didn't need me.”  
“I noticed you didn't call Mary, and a Taxi brought you here.” John winced and looked away playing with his food. “I called hours ago.” John drank but then almost choking on it, “wait, how do you know if Mary had called me or if i called?!”  
“I hacked into your phone, I can track you.” John sighed relieved but annoyed. He looked at his phone and sighed. “Wheres Mary then.”  
“She’s busy, needed some alone time.”  
Sherlock sat down and stared at John.  
“You wouldn't dress this nice to have a cup of tea alone. John who was that man.”  
A message appeared on John's phone. He unlocked and had to bite his tongue. Mary was being held by the hair and Moriarty holding a knife against her throat.  
He scrolled down and saw his message. “If he knows she is dead.”  
“John.” John flinched and laughed fake. “Sorry, Mary sent me something.” Sherlock grabbed a piece of paper and started to write as he was talking. “Mrs. Hudson is taking care of the letters in my room. It turns out it was a kid.” Sherlock hands john the paper saying, “There is a surveillance watching you isn't there... Is Mary ok.” John swallowed hard and tried to laugh again. “Y-yeah, I told you it was no one.” John quickly wrote down on the paper and sliding it quietly to Sherlock. “Moriarty has her, he is hurting her.” Sherlock's eyes widened. “I knew it….it can't be…”  
John coughed hard and rubbed his head, “What can you do. How about heading home.” Sherlock stood frozen. John received a message. “Game over”. A picture was sent and it was Mary dead on the floor. “No..no no no no no! YOU SON OF A BITCH!” John threw his phone and sat down holding his head. “No...no this can't be…” Sherlock looks at john. “I’m…”  
“Sherlock she's gone…”John sobbed. Sherlock looked around. “John, where did everyone go.”  
John looks and sees no one in the cafe. “What-” Before he can finish the glass break and Sherlock throws John to the ground. “Hide!” John grabs Sherlock but gets shot. Sherlock gasps and falls back. “Sherlock!” John’s screams start to fade, and he could only hear his faint heart beating at his chest. He opens his eyes again and sees he is being taken into an ambulance car. He looks around slowly and his eyes widen. Moriarty puts a nurse mask and makes Sherlock go to sleep. “Nighty night sherlock~”  
“No…” Sherlock feels his eyes roll back and whispers john until he passes out. He felt cold and the dark engulfed him…..this was not the end.


	2. Mind Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock battles with his mind if it is worth fighting for it all. A metaphor to suicide and mild dirty content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the Kudos, here is the second chapter. If I get five Kudos, I will continue with this fan fic.

Sherlock opens his eyes slow, the light burnt his eyes and he closed them again.   
“J...John…” Sherlock opened his eyes again and looked around. “J...John…” He looked around and saw only a dim light. The air was humid and there was no movement or sound. Sherlock slowly gets up but a sharp pain rises in his chest. Handcuffs grasped his hands and feet. He tried to jerk away but couldn't escape. Footsteps were heard from a distance and Sherlock stood still. This was no hospital, and John was not there.   
“Well well well, look who’s up!” Colds hands grabbed Sherlock’s face and light shined in his eyes. Sherlock closed his eyes and slowly opened them to see Moriarty.   
“Surprisingly quiet today aren't you?” Moriarty pokes the bullet wound and Sherlock hisses.   
“I thought this was only a game….why this. Where is John!” Moriarty sticks his fingers in Sherlock’s mouth and he gags.   
“Shh~ John is fine.” Sherlock bites Moriarty’s fingers and spits. “Kinky.” He smirks and plays with Sherlock’s hair.   
“What do you want? This isn't the game you usually play-” Moriarty reaches down and strokes softly.   
“You can't play a game without having fun now, can we?” Sherlock bites his lips and looks away.   
“Stop…” SHerlock blushes and huffs. “This isn’t the game you play.”  
“But your my pawn, and i am the king. This is my winning prize.”  
“I am not a prize.”  
“Oh but you are Sherlock.” Moriarty gets on top of the lap table on top of Sherlock and plays with his curly hair. Sherlock looks away embarrassed, feeling a bulge stroking him against his lower abdomen.   
“Mor…” Moriarty looks down at Sherlock and kisses him deeply. 

 

. . .

 

Sherlock wakes up untied and at a hospital bed. It had to be a hospital...however it was dark and abandoned. Sherlock gets up, his lower body feeling weird. He puts on a robe and walks around. “Hello!” Sherlock looks and sees no one. “Anyone here…” The place was abandoned, and the dark almost blinded him. The only light were the cracks on the walls and ceilings that the moon illuminated.   
“Sherlock.” He heard a familiar whisper. John. It had to be John. Sherlock ran to the echo of the whisper but soon heard it again in different direction. Sherlock ran the other way but the sound led him nowhere.  
“John!” His voice echoed across the hospital.   
“Poor Sherlock.” Sherlock turned and saw Moriarty. The lights flicker showing Moriarty’s face clearly.   
“You are alone like me.” Moriarty walked towards Sherlock. He looked away at him and closes his eyes.   
“You’re in my mind palace...again.”  
“Is that bad?” Moriarty strokes Sherlock’s cheeks and brought him closer to his face.   
“I don’t want you…” Sherlock closes his eyes tighter but felt something warm against his lips.   
“If you didn't want me, you wouldn't have called for me. You try so hard to run from me when really, you are running towards me.”   
Sherlock opens his eyes slowly and looks at Moriarty’s lips. “But why you.”   
Sherlock closes his eyes again and tries to imagine John. He opened his eyes and sighs. “I can't see him…”   
“It’s because he doesn't want you, he has Marry, a child, friends, a home. And what do you have Sherlock.”  
Sherlock stares at Moriarty and thinks.   
“I am smart to know that John never left me.”  
“Oh he didn't? Are you sure Sherlock.”  
Sherlock closes his eyes and opens them to be in his room. Mary and John holding each other while playing with their child.   
“He has a life, and he doesn't need you in it.”  
“He doesn't need me…”  
“No.” Moriarty hands Sherlock a gun and smirks.   
“Get rid of yourself.”  
Sherlock looks at the gun and slowly points it at his head. “I am not wanted. John is happy without me.”  
“He doesn't want you.”  
“He doesn't want me”  
“Just end it. Off you pop. Go on, pull it!”  
Sherlock presses on the trigger but hears a faint scream.   
“Ignore it, just shoot yourself.”  
Sherlock just stares at the gun and tries to concentrate on the screams, but Moriarty wraps his arms around Sherlock and opens his mouth and puts the gun in.   
“Sherlock!” Sherlock looks and sees John running towards him slow.   
“John?”   
“You bloody idiot!”  
Sherlock blinks slowly and feels a slap across his cheeks.   
He opens his eyes and sees Mary and John.   
“You bloody idiot! You scared me!” John hugs Sherlock hard making the monitors beep fast.   
“Ow.”   
“After all that you reply with ow?”  
“You were worried?”  
“Of course I was worried! I haven't slept in days!” John kept yelling at Sherlock, but he just smiled and looked at his eyes.   
“Shut up”. Sherlock grabbed John’s face and kisses his lips deeply. John’s eyes open wide and Mary had her mouth hang down.   
“Mine.”


	3. Hallucinations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock's drug addiction takes on a huge toll after he runs away from the hospital and kills a man at a bar. Is Moriarty really dead? Or is he hiding...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for all the wonderful Kudos ! The story continues!

John pushes him down confused and wipes his lips. “What have you been taking now?” Mary laughed.   
“Wow, you must be brave doing that around him. Do you want another bullet in ya?” Mary teases.  
“It’s probably the drugs.” Sherlock sighs.  
“It might be so.” John stared at Sherlock worried. “They found you at your place….you could have been dead.”  
“Well I am here, not dead. Let’s forget it shall we.” Sherlock tries to get up but John pushes him down gently. “You are under suicide watch.”  
“What?” Sherlock looked away annoyed.   
“Mrs. Hudson says she’d see you try to end it many times." Sherlock laughs.   
"You don't believe her do you."  
"Sherlock...Mrs. Hudson would do that... she also said you always muttered his name.”  
“I..I didn't...”  
“Don't deny it now. You promised to talk to me.” John lays his hand on Sherlock and he stares at it.   
"I ship it".  
Sherlock looks to see Moriarty against the wall playing with his nails.   
“I care about you Sherlock. Molly loves you too.”  
“Get out.” Sherlock muttered. John and Mary look at each other then to Sherlock.   
Moriarty smirks and walks to him.   
“I said get out!” He screamed.   
John grabs Mary and walks out. "Fine..."  
“W..wait John..” Moriarty laughs. He then points at the scalpels and knives on the table.   
“It’s your fault. They left because of you. WHY DO YOU KEEP -”  
Moriarty cups his mouth. “Shhh, it’s your fault.” Moriarty grabs the knife and lays it against his neck. Sherlock tries to bite his hand but he jerks away.  
"You aren't real." He glares.   
"Sure I'm real! You believe that too! Poor John and Mary. Why don't you just die? You're boring, i thought you were special."  
"You aren't real...get out of my head." Moriarty sighs.  
"Don;t start this now."  
"Then make me bleed." Moriarty smirks.  
"Oh..ha.. I'll make you bleed..."  
A nurse comes in and Sherlock blinks to see him gone. He sighs in relief.   
“I am here for a check up Sherlock" He nods and looks around for him. "Are you OK sir?"  
"Yes, fine."  
"Would you mind sitting up for me?”  
Sherlock glanced at her. “Your daughter goes here too doesn’t she.”  
“How…”  
“Easy to tell” he mutters, “You keep checking the time, you have stains, a mother wouldn't care if it was their own children.”  
“Excuse me?”  
"A note sticking out, cheap crayons, it wouldn't be a fan, read..I love mommy." She stuffs the note in her pocket fast.  
“The nurses are lying to you, she isn't well, cancer isn't it. No it’s deadly”.  
The nurse’s eyes gets wide, "deadly?"  
“Let me go and I will help you.” She quickly takes off the wires. Sherlock grabs her mouth and closes her nose, then lays her down on the bed. Sherlock takes off. 

…

“Mary he needs help, and even though we are his friends, special care would be helpful.”  
Mary kisses John and shakes her head. “He needs us John.”  
“Police has him now, he has been hallucinating… damn drugs.”  
“Don’t worry John, he is in a secured place.” John laughs and pours a glass of wine.   
"Sherlock wouldn't let that stop him."  
The door opens and Sherlock falls on the ground.   
John spits out his wine.   
"You've spoken too soon."  
“H...help.” John puts down the wine and runs to him and Mary picks up the phone.   
“No don’t.” Mary stops. "I don;t want police coming after me." She runs to him.   
“You bloody moron, you were supposed to be getting care!”  
Moriarty walks over him and kneels down.   
“You look like shit Sherlock.” SHerlock glares and closes his eyes.   
“He isn't dead, he’s all over my mind.” Sherlock whimpers and shakes his head.   
“How much did you take?” John grabs Sherlock by the collar.  
“Enough John. Help him up and take him to bed. He needs rest.”  
“No...he’s back.”  
“Sherlock for Christs sake! He is gone! Moriarty is dead!”  
Sherlock looks over and sees him sitting down on a chair. “You believe that Sherlock?”  
Sherlock shoves off John and slowly gets up. “He is alive. He haunts me.”  
John sighs. “Do us a favor and get off these drugs. Look at yourself? You are famous! People count on you! And look at you!” Mary holds John’s hands. “Love wait.”  
“No, don’t stop him. I’ll leave.” Sherlock gets up slow. Mary tries to stop him but John holds her down. He walks out and disappears in the rain.   
“You were too hard on him...John go after him.”  
“No. Mary I have a family to look after…” John goes and washes his face. "He is your friend. He needs you."  
"Everything revolves around him! And look at him! He's mental!" John stops and Mary gasps.   
"what's gotten into you...." Mary throws his coat at him.   
"Get out there and save him." John grips his jacket.   
In the cold rain, Sherlock walks to a bar. Moriarty’s face is seen everywhere.   
“Leave me alone.” A homeless person backs away. “I’m sorry..”  
He enters a bar and sits, people stare at his damp hospital clothes and unshaven facial hair.   
Moriarty sits next to him. “You see, he doesn't care. Mary doesn't either. No one needs you.”  
“Shut up!”  
The man next to him stands. “What’s your problem?”  
Moriarty laughs. Sherlock grabs the bottle of beer and chugs it.  
“Kill me Sherlock” Moriarty says.   
Sherlock breaks the glass and glares. “Hey! I don't want any problems!” Says the man.   
Moriarty laughs.   
“Stop laughing at me!”  
“I ain't laughing! Call the cops!” Someone tries to grab Sherlock but he shoves him away. The man falls and breaks a table.   
“Hurry up and kill me! You want that badly don’t you!” Moriarty says.   
Sherlock runs and stabs the person. He twists the broken glass bottle into the man he thought was Moriarty. Sherlock blinks and sees the innocent man. He spits out blood and dies on his hands. People scream and leave the bar. Sherlock lets go of the bottle and the man falls back.   
The bartender calls the police, pointing a shotgun at him.   
“Step away from the man, I’ve called the police!”  
The man he shoved gets up and holds his bleeding head. Sherlock turns around slowly.  
“John….” John shakes his head.   
“Look what you’ve done now.” John punches Sherlock. "Fix yourself! Look what you've done!" John punches him again and he falls back.   
"you're reckless! You're ruthless!" He gets on top and punches him. Sherlock lays down relaxed and let's him. John breathes heavily and gets up.   
" I don't want to see you ever again." Sherlock tries to open his mouth but couldn't. John storms out. Moriarty sits on him and pokes his nose.   
"You've done it now Sherlock." He couldn't breathe, like someone was ...sitting...on him..... Sherlock looked at him and gasped.   
"Miss me?"


	4. Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drugs have taken a toll on Sherlock. It is difficult on telling what is real or not. But reality can become a nightmare.

A ringing noise was heard first. Not an alarm, but the ringing sound of when a blast is beating against one’s ears. The sound clears Sherlock wakes up surrounded by white light. Something brushes against his legs. He looks down and sees Red Beard. Sherlock tilts his head in confusion and follows it. “Red Beard! Wait!” The dog falls and Sherlock sings. He can’t breathe. He tries to swim up but something grabs his legs and is pushing him down. He tries to break free, his breathing starting to slow down. He shakes his head. No. He can’t die. Not again. He can’t leave him behind...leave who behind...He looks up and sees a hand. Sherlock grabs it and wakes up coughing. Something is on top of him, he can hardly breathe. Hair brushed against his cheeks, Sherlock turned to see John sleeping next to him. That’s right, he thought. I can’t leave him. Sherlock lays his head against him and sighs.   
“Sherlock?” John quickly gets up, his face close to his. “You bloody….you bloody idiot..you could have been lost, hurt or killed! Sherlock I am tired of this! You’re breaking me-” Sherlock cups John’s face and kisses him softly, shutting and surprising both of them. John quickly hugs him tight, nuzzling his neck. John then has his hands against Sherlock’s neck. “Kinky.” Sherlock notices no other movement from John. “John?” Moriarty enters the room and sits in front of him. Sherlock freezes.   
“Poor Sherlock. Your dreams have been sad lately. Making John cheat on Mary. You desperate for love. Didn't think you were the emotional type.” Moriarty gets up and smirks. Sherlock tries to move John away but his grasp is getting harder. “No one wants you Sherlock.” Sherlock grabs John’s hands, trying to break free. John gets on top and chokes him harder.   
Sherlock struggles and stares at John. “J-John please.”  
“He can’t hear you, thought you were clever.”  
Clever he may be, but lonely he was. The room turns blue, he is sinking again.   
“Sherlock, you will lose all your friends and family. I will be on my throne laughing. Poor poor Sherlock. Look at you. You’re drowning. You’re suffering.”   
“No.” Sherlock stops fighting and allows John to continue Choking him.   
“No Moriarty, you are wrong. I would give my life to him, for Mary, and fat ass. I am….I am happy.” John turns into Moriarty. He is hissing and his grasp begins to feel lighter.   
“You are lying~ LYING!” Moriarty screams.   
Sherlock breaks away and runs out of the hospital. He sees John blocking the exit.   
“I am sorry for hurting you and Mary.” John stares. “You won’t let me leave, then what else !”  
“You out of all people know how much life means to me. I have seen death, and so have you. Every day is a war. Wake up.” His words echo the room.   
“Wake up.”  
Mary paces around him. “What are you doing here still.”  
“Please Brother mine, I don’t want to be the one to have to do this.” He grabs a bat and smirks.   
“Wait, you are all here. Even after all the stupid things i have done or said.”  
“Silly you Sherlock, we love you! I am not your mother for heaven's sake, but you are family.” Mrs. Hudson says.   
“Why all this fluff for.” Sherlock says. John takes away a needle from Sherlock. “Because you are not just hurting yourself. You are hurting us. We love you.”  
Sherlock looks away. “It may be hard to say back, but you doing this...stop...please for me, for Mary, for Mrs. Hudson!” Sherlock blinks in a dark room. John walks to him and gives him a hug.   
Sherlock tears up. “Ever since you and Mary...I was so ….” John looks up at him. Sherlock closes his eyes but he could still see John.  
“You are trying to hide from your emotions but it’s killing you Sherlock.” Sherlock shakes his head and sits on the cold dark floor.   
“John...I love yo-”

.  
.  
.  
“Clear!” Sherlock gasps and wakes up. Sherlock looks around slowly, his throat is dry. SLAP.   
“God damn it Sherlock! I have lost you before, I am not going to lose you permanently now!” Sherlock blinks and looks up. “Miss me?”  
“This isn't funny.”  
“I am not dead..am I?” John slaps him again.   
“Ow.”  
“No you aren't.” Mary rushes in and sighs in relief. Sherlock tries to move his hand but is handcuffed. “What is this.”  
“You killed a man….”  
Sherlock gulped and looked at the ceiling. “Your drugs have taken you too far. This has gone out of hand. Bloody hell Sherlock...you killed a man.”  
“Heard you the first time.”  
“What got into you?”  
“Mary, can I have a minute alone with him.”  
“Don’t do anything gay when I am not around.” Mary walks away along with the nurses.  
“I am not gay!” John exclaims. “What is it.”  
“I am sorry.” John raises a brow.   
“Sorry? That isn't enough. Lucky for you, big brother is going to bale you out again. And lucky enough you weren't .. weren't dead.”  
Sherlock is silent. He looks at John. Eyes tired, showing he hasn't slept, he has probably been sleeping along with Sherlock for days. His clothes have stains, probably from the cafeteria. He had many strokes, news scared John. John came running down. Unclean clothes, waiting for Sherlock.   
“You’ve been..here all along.”  
John nods, his eyes tearing up. “How many seizures.”  
John looks up, tapping his legs and sniffs. “Was I sleep talking.”   
John took a second to answer, his eyes avert from Sherlock’s. “No.”  
“You know I can tell when you’re lying.”  
John looks at Sherlock. “First time i met you, I asked if you had a partner.”  
“You said no.”  
“I said no” They said at the same time.   
“When the waiter said I was your date, you just...stared at me. You didn't deny it.”  
“Love at first sight” He teases.   
“I love you.”  
“What?”  
“John. I love you..is what I heard.”  
“I was high, of course I would say that.”  
John looks at Sherlock and shakes his head. “John.” John quickly looks at him.   
“I am sorry you heard that from me. You won’t hear it again-”  
“I love you.” John says.   
“What? Sorry.”  
“You’re my best friend.” John smiles. “Get some rest.” John leaves, losing the door behind him.   
“Heart broken are you.” Moriarty says, sitting on the bed across from him.   
“I thought the drugs in my system are gone. I don't want to see you anymore.”  
“I am in your head, and from my standpoint, I wouldn't be here if you didn't think of me this much.”  
“Just go…”  
“I am your drug~” Sherlock glares at him. “I quit you.”  
“Since when.”  
Sherlock laid back down. “No one believes me you’re dead. Its obvious yet you're hiding.”   
“Speak for yourself. You just got dumped.”  
Sherlock flinches. “Get out.”  
“Aww, I hurt your feelings~”  
“GET OUT!” Moriarty grabs Sherlock’s face.   
“Listen bro, when i do come back. Things will get worse. This…” He stands on top of the bed and straightens himself “This is nothing compared to what I will do to you.” Sherlock glares.   
“I have said this before.” He takes out an apple and starts to carve it.   
“I own you Sherlock.” He drops the apple on his chest and Sherlock flinches. “And i'm back.” He jumps off the bed, grabbing a jacket and a hat. He grabs drugs and stabs it in Sherlock’s neck. This feeling was real. This wasn't fake. He wasn't dreaming. His vision blurs. “First game! Sherlock versus time.” Moriarty unplugs the machines and putting a gasp mask on Sherlock. “Let’s see how long you can hold your breath on heavy drugs.” Moriarty puts his sunglasses on and wears his earphones, blasting music and heading out. Sherlock starts to suffocate, his breathing was hard to catch up with. It felt like drowning. His body felt heavy and the handcuffs were already making it difficult to move. Sherlock was shaking slowly, as hard as his body could take it, trying to rip off the mask. He was seeing sparks and his head was spinning. His lungs felt like they were going to burst. “J...J…” Wheezing and gasping, Sherlock slowly started to slip. John walks in as his vision started to blur. “Sherlock!” He ran to him, the apple dropping, I O U on it. John quickly ripped off the mask and Sherlock gasped for air. He took out his gun and shot at the handcuffs, breaking him free. “Nurse! Doctor!” John picks Sherlock's head up and Sherlock stares at the ceiling breathing rapidly. “He’s back...back...ba..” Sherlock passes out with his name being screamed by a familiar voice. John? He felt something against his lips and felt air push through his lungs. He blinks slow and looks down to see John. John blows again but Sherlock regains conscious and kisses him instead. John kisses him again and Sherlock holds him tight.   
“He’s back..” Sherlock breathes out.   
“Shhh, don’t talk.” John says, stroking Sherlock’s hair. “I have you in my arms, don’t worry.” Sherlock smiles softly and lays his head against John. “Thank...thank you…” Sherlock passes out and John lays him back down. “Are you happy…”  
“Very.”  
“When are you going to let her go.”  
“Just a little bit longer. I want to have fun with this. Who knew he loved you.”  
“Please..don't hurt Mary”  
“Keep your mouth shut and follow my rules.”  
“You’re going to break him...you should have stayed dead.”  
“I have returned from the dead, and I have so many plans. It was fun testing Mr. Holmes, but I want I have a new game. I want to see Sherlock break.” Moriarty stabs and crushes the apple.   
“This is going to be so much fun~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again so much for the Kudos! It makes me happy to see people read this.


	5. Awaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How far will Moriarty go into torturing Sherlock's mind?

“John….John…” John looks up, he rubs his face and sighs. “Yes Sherlock. I’m here.” Sherlock opens one eye and closes them as soon as he sees him. He sighs in relief and relaxes. “I had a nightmare.” Sherlock said swallowing hard. He opens his eyes again and looks at John. John is staring at nothing. Sherlock notices the taping of his fingers and the rocking of his feet. His eyes barely blink. “Did...something happen?” Sherlock asks. John smiles faintly.   
“No. Nothing.”  
“I know when you’re worried.”  
“Worry about yourself.” John flinches, but what Sherlock doesn't see is the hidden microphone and speaker in his shirt and one attached to his ear.  
“Make him feel special.” Moriarty whispers. John takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He gets up and sits on Sherlock’s bed. Sherlock tilts his head in confusion.   
“Are you sure you’re ok.” John smiles and pats him.   
“Fine.”  
“Promise?”  
“Promise.” John lays down next to Sherlock.   
“Where is Mary?” Sherlock asks. He notices John clenching his fists.   
“I...I think she went back to the house.”  
Sherlock nodded. John holds Sherlock close and kisses him.   
“I didn’t tell you to do that?” Moriarty says. John ignores him and holds his hand.   
Sherlock tries to speak but he kisses Sherlock again.   
“Tell him you love him.” Moriarty whispers. He is laughing now.   
“Sherlock….” John hesitated. He hears Mary scream.   
“Are you ok John?” Before Sherlock analyzes him, John hugs him tight.   
“Sherlock I love you.” John nuzzles in Sherlock’s neck.   
“Good~ Good boy. Daddy loves this.” John cringes at Moriarty. “Keep this up and I wil free her.”  
“John! Don’t! John!” He hears Mary screaming then being muffled. He quickly gets up.   
“Tsk tsk, stay down, tease him a little or she dies.” John looks at Sherlock. His eyes widen when he sees Sherlock blushing.   
“Are you….you’re red.”  
“No i’m not.” Sherlock mumbles. John cups Sherlock’s cheek and kisses him deeply. He gets on top of him and makes out with him.   
“Woo, great!” John is shaking now. He gets off, but Sherlock reaches for him smiling.   
“Thank you John.” John nods.   
“I have to get back to my wife.” Sherlock nodded.   
“John, I love you too.” John nods.   
“Sleep with him tonight. Then you know what to do.” John looks down.   
“John are you sure you’re alright?”   
“I changed my mind, I am going to stay with you.” Sherlock smiles and makes room in the bed.  
John sits and lets Sherlock cuddle him. “Please, if there is anything, I know I suck, but I can help you.” John nods. The whole night, they spent kissing and cuddling. John was surprised Sherlock loved that affection. He always took him cold. But he did it for Mary. He felt bad and disgusted though. He loved Sherlock, and he knew that this was going to break him.   
“Don’t leave my side John.”  
“I will stay with you. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.”  
.  
.  
.  
Sherlock wakes up and yawns. He turns to kiss John in the cheek but felt something warm and wet. He opened his eyes and saw John’s lifeless body. His body was covered in blood.   
“N..N...NO! John!” He picks John up.   
“Nurse!” A nurse rushes in, she is wearing a mask to cover half of her face. “Nurse! Please, send him help!” The nurse picks up John and throws him to the ground like a doll. “John!”  
Moriarty takes off the mask and smirks. “Miss me.”  
Sherlock gasps and shakes his head. He falls to get up and crawls to John.   
“No...no no no…..John please…” Sherlock’s tears dropped on John’s cheek.   
“You...What else!” Sherlock points at Moriarty in anger. “I’ll kill you!”  
“Ooo, scary.” Moriarty giggles and sits down looking amused down at Sherlock.   
Sherlock holds John close crying.   
“I thought it would be fun hurting you Sherlock. It is. But hurting your friends was much fun. You’re crying. Its funny.”  
“Shut up!” Sherlock tries to get up but Moriarty pushes him down. He takes out his gun and puts it against his chin. “It’s your fault Sherlock. I want to see your fall, you owe me a fall remember.”  
BAM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might pause on this fanfic. Thank you again for those reading and leaving kudos. I wouldn't continue without the support <3


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